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Our sex life, or lack of it, really is not a problem but what he did when I was in a deep sleep does. As I see it he would rather jump all over me and enjoys the fact that it is without my consent or involvement. Now I cannot relax and feel I daren't have a drink in case he does those things and I get that horrible sinking feeling again the next morning.
I was very upset that he was getting off on this kind of sex preferring that to the loving intimate adventurous sex life I was trying to get back. He was distraught and said he would cut his hands off before touching me without my consent in that way again. He came up with every excuse under the sun other than admit to what he was doing. So I waited until next time pretended I was asleep again - but this time half way through I just pretended to wake and asked him what he was doing. The next day I asked my husband if we had sex, and he said no! I was disgusted and felt violated and had to face him about it in a way he could not deny it. My husband came to bed and within 15 minutes just as I was drifting off he started to touch me, and went on to have sex with me. One night just out of curiosity I went to bed first as normal but decided to pretend to be in a deep sleep (I made sure I did not have a lot to drink) to see if anything was going on. This continued every time I fell asleep after a drink and I could not work out why. I had the feeling that I had had sex but did not remember - I would ask my husband if we had sex the night before and he would say no. We usually have a drink every weekend and I often fall into a deep drink induced sleepīut I began waking in the morning feeling sore down below. We have chatted about the lack of sex in our relationship but end up going around in circles I was happy to go through this until we were both ready to sort it out, until last year.
My husband is a loving man but is not demonstrative. Our sex life was very lusty and fulfilling when we first met - but it soon settled down to having sex once a month after a drink.